That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
