The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
