you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
