I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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