Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
