Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
