we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
