seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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