I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
