dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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