At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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