I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
