I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
