I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
