It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
