Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize