It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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