Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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