Whod you bang
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
