Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I AM VODKA MAN
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
