who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
