turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
