Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
