just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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