ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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