i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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