Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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