He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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