i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
