I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
