just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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