We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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