Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
