Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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