either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
false alarm, still single
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
