He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize