I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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