We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
