do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
