I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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