we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
