Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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