marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
