Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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