Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
