if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
