I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
