We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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