i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
