i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I didn't notice because vodka
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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