I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize