Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
