mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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