I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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