she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
