either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize