What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
