Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
