Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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