omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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