I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
