i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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