How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
