At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
