I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My penis needs a shock collar
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
