she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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