You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize