her facebook's as public as her vagina
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
