Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
