I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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