Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize